


How to Tell the Truth Despite How Much it Hurts

by yorkisms



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: (but isn't that to be expected with napstablook), Hurt/Comfort, I've discovered that I enjoy writing extremely guilty Mettaton, Mettaton censors himself on tv but is a fucking potty mouth, Mettaton has trouble telling the truth, Napstablook kind of thinks ghost!mettaton is dead?, Other, Relationship Study, Secrets, Sort of? - Freeform, finally i produce something that isnt Metta and his bffl, kind of a companion to my Alphys fic, overuse of ellipses, teen for swearing, those are no no words metta
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-29
Updated: 2015-11-29
Packaged: 2018-05-04 00:32:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5313044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yorkisms/pseuds/yorkisms
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel (sort of) to the critically okayed "How to Say Sorry Without Saying Anything at All," also written and edited by Mettaton.</p>
<p>Or, Mettaton can't tell Napstablook something very, very important.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How to Tell the Truth Despite How Much it Hurts

**Author's Note:**

> I just finished writing this at the time of posting and I liked it, so here it is, unedited, in its purest raw form for maximum hurt. 
> 
> Why is every time I write Mettaton and feel good enough to post it, it's guilty!Mettaton?

_ If I could _

_ Begin to be _

_ Half of what _

_ You think of me _

_ I could do about anything _

_ I could even learn how to love _

Mettaton  hasn't managed to say anything yet. All he's done is be a good friend to Napstablook. Give his little cousin everything they could possibly want. 

But still he feels guilty. He should say something, do something, because Napstablook probably thinks that he's  dead  for god's sake- well, not him-as- Mettaton  but him-as-their-cousin- and what terrible family he is.

But whenever he open's his mouth and he's alone with his little cousin his servos lock up and he can't say a damn thing- not even "hey, I'm your cousin who disappeared, sorry I was so awful."

Mettaton  has a- well, a  Metta - ton  of things to feel guilty about. He's already making it up to Alphys- she already knows this secret anyway.

What hurts the worst of this whole miserable situation, Mettaton thinks, is Napstablook's attitude. They look up to him, even though they don't know- they couldn't possibly. 

But who is he to deserve the affection of his sweet little cousin? He betrayed them. Leaving them in Waterfall was a terrible, terrible decision, and he could have-  should  have- done better. 

Mettaton  is  pulled  from his dark thoughts by- who else?- his sweet little cousin. 

"Uh... Mettaton ? Um...what do you think?"

"Sorry,"  Mettaton  says, wincing a bit. Way to tune out while said little cousin is showing you their music. Asshole. 

"It sounds beautiful, of course, sweetheart!"  Mettaton  continues, and he doesn't need to lie about that. Everything Napstablook composes is beautiful, that he believes with his whole soul. "I-I'd only take it if you want me to, though-- you should really do a solo album, sweetheart."

Napstablook flushes, embarrassed. "Oh...you think...? I...well..." They sigh. "I don't know... i -if I'm ready..."

Mettaton's  eyes widen. "Oh no, don't think I'm pressuring you, darling, I'm not. I really think you're talented, but it's your decision!"

"Oh...well...thank you," Napstablook says, covering their face a bit. "You're so kind...oh no..."

Mettaton  thinks he can feel his heart breaking. Of all the sensations in his physical body, this is the worst. It hurts like when the human used Alphys' little invention on his soul- but actually, a hundred times worse.

They're alone now. He should say something. He should say something, he should open his disgusting liar mouth and  say-

"You deserve it."

Close. Not close enough.

_ When I see the way you act _

_ Wondering when I'm coming back _

_ I could do about anything _

_ I could even learn how to love like you, love like you _

He's asked. What Napstablook knows, that is. Not-so-subtly, either, the nerves evident so that  Mettaton  feels like he might as well have asked with all his panels open, wires showing. So that if Napstablook understood what he was asking, why he was asking, they could tear out his vocal chords and be done with it. 

Nothing he had ever done had weighed so heavily on  Mettaton  as this. Alphys, maybe, but she had known the whole story. They had apologized to each other immediately. He had become better from that. 

The hardest thing to tell, then, is the truth. 

"Have you heard from any of your cousins lately?" Our cousins. Our family. 

"Oh, uh...n-no." They look disappointed, and  Mettaton  wishes he had been left deactivated in  Hotland . 

"Well, they don't deserve you." I don't. 

"Oh..." Napstablook pauses. "I don't think so...I mean...they all had dreams...I would have only held them back...they didn't need to stay with me..."

_ But I did,  Blooky , I told you I would but I lied. _

"They should have contacted you anyhow,"  Mettaton  says, frowning. He should have opened his fucking mouth by now. Told the fucking truth. "Especially after the barrier broke-" he breaks off, sighing. 

" Blooky , sweetheart, I'm sorry."

"Oh...uh...for what? You haven't...done anything..."

Mettaton  feels the tears- damn, why did he insist on the tear ducts, they'd only ever betrayed him- begin running down his face. He wipes his eyes, avoiding Napstablook's eyes. If he looked up he would see that they're confused, but they're also crying. What  Mettaton  is saying and doing scares them awfully.

"I have, darling. I've done something terrible. And I've simply been avoiding telling it."

"Oh...um...what did you do? I-I'm sure it's not that bad..."

" Blooky ...you're so  sweet. But no, I'm not sure you'll ever forgive me."

"Forgive you...for what...?"

"I've lied to you, sweetheart. I've lied to everyone, but most of all you."

_ I always thought I might be bad _

_ Now I'm sure that it's true _

_Cause I think you're so good and I'm nothing like you_.


End file.
